Three or four times a day
My boss has to sneak away
And sometimes I hear him say
"It's a tough row to hoe to be a nicotine slave"
I'm not sayin' he's a jerk
But I have to do all the work
Acting manager owner and clerk
While he's sittin' in the sun
Man it drives me berserk
It seems really clear to me
Doesn't anybody else get the irony
I've gotta start smokin' if I wanna get a breath of fresh air
With the secondhand smoking uproar
He can't smoke outside anymore
I thought he was absent before
Now he's gotta get at least a hundred yards from the door
He says he feels marginalized
He's hoping to quit and he tries
But if he gives up his favorite vice
He'll also give up all of that regular exercise
It seems really clear to me
Doesn't anybody else get the irony
I've gotta start smokin' if I wanna get a breath of fresh air
If you can't beat 'em join 'em
It's true but troublesome
I bought some cigarettes
They're made of bubble gum
Now I walk in the breeze and delight
in the sun and pretend to ignite
It was all going more than alright
"Til the boss said "Can I bum a smoke - and a light?
"Hey what is this crap? Bubble gum?
On your break? You've got to be joking!
Ulbrich that's it you are done!"
Wait- did I just get fired for not smoking?
It seems really clear to me
Doesn't anybody else get the irony
I've gotta start smokin' if I wanna get a breath of fresh air
I've gotta start smokin' if I wanna get some exercise
Well I better start smokin' if I want to get a breath of fresh air
