SHE CAN’T COOK
HEATHER AND I MOVED IN TOGETHER ALONG ABOUT A MONTH AGO
SINCE THEN I’VE FOUND OUT A LOT I DIDN’T KNOW
THE FIRST TIME WE WENT GROCERY SHOPPING SHE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO BUY
AS SOON AS WE GOT HOME I FOUND OUT THE REASON WHY
CHORUS:
SHE CAN’T COOK BUT SHE SURE CAN COOK IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
SHE COOKS REAL GOOD IN EVERY ROOM IN THE HOUSE SHE COOKS A LOT BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE AS LONG AS I KEEP HER OUT OF THE KITCHEN
THE FIRST DAY I GOT HOME FROM WORK TO A HOUSEFUL OF FIREMEN
WITH SCREAMING SMOKE ALARMS THAT I THOUGHT WOULD NEVER END
SO I GOT FAMILIAR WITH RESTRAUNTS THAT DELIVER LATE AT NIGHT
AND I MADE MYSELF A MAP OF THE ONES WITH GOOD TAKE OUT
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FINALLY IT WAS SATURDAY I HAD A RUDE AWAKENING I WAS FAST ASLEEP WHEN I HEARD THE EXPLOSION INSIDE THE KITCHEN THERE WERE BISCUITS HANGING FROM THE CEILING AND THE WALL CAUSE WHEN SHE PUT EM IN THE MICROWAVE SHE PUT EM IN THERE CAN AND ALL
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SPOKEN:
IF I’M GONNA KEEP THIS HOUSE SAFE AND GIVE THOSE FIREMENA BREAK
I’M GONNA HAVE TO GET RID OF THIS KITCHEN TAKE OUT THE STOCE AND MICROWAVE
TOASTER AND COFFEEPOT PUT ME IN A POOLTABLE AND A BIG SCREEN TV MAYBE SOME SURROUND SOUND AND ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF
REPEAT CHORUS
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