Welcome to our service, satisfaction guaranteed
We know all about you and we know just what you need
We’re all that you have dreamed of and oh so much more
So take a seat, don’t miss a beat now
We will show you what’s in store
Sound mind and sound body, leave it all to us
You need not lift a finger or put up any fuss
We’re filling up your cup so drink while we advise
Our media concoction will make you strong and wise
We’re your radio, your paper
We’re your heroes on TV
We’re the pill that makes you happy
We’re the sugar in your tea
We’ll make you beautiful, successful
Everything you have ever wanted
Now it’s time to thank our sponsor
We’re Coginition, Inc.
We hope you’ve liked our service with its lifetime warranty
Discreet seduction and abduction is our specialty
Your friends, your work, your family
Now won’t they think you’re nuts?
No, you don’t have to worry as they too belong to us.
We’re your actions, we’re your gestures
We’re your personality
We’re your id, ego, and super ego
Your physiology
We make all of your decisions
We’re the voices in your head
We’re the ones that make you hungry
We’re the spoon that you are fed
We’ll make you beautiful, successful
Everything you have ever wanted
Now it’s time to thank our sponsor
We’re Coginition, Inc.